awkward

Well....Right now, My mom is yelling from upstairs.
My dog has been barking constantly and my mom is throwing a old woman tantrum :/
Currently, my mom is using some of her most vulgar language...
"Shit"
"Stupid dog"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP"
"I'll cut your mouth off, if you keep barking"
Well this is a rough translation of what she is saying....
But since my Chinese is sorta rough around the edges...
I'm not sure how accurate this is.

Also, I should be going to sleep.
but, I have something on my mind that I want to write about. :/
~~~~

First of all, I'm an awkward person especially around people I don't know well.
And when I mean awkward I mean.. terribly awkward.... (Its quite embarrassing).

Okay this is what happened.
My friend wanted me to come to this Christian type of youth group thing today.
I would honestly have rejected it. But since she asked so nicely, I couldn't resist.

SO anyways....
I went to the youth group thing which was at someone's house.
I was greatly welcomed. Some people hugged and greeted me.
BUt... afterwards.... it became extremely awkward.
I sorta just stood randomly around the house.
And tried to listen and pretend to laugh at things I didn't thought was funny.

When I tried to talk to people, my voice became shaky. I became really nervous.
When they sang songs, I didn't know the lyrics.
Everyone was overly nice.
TOo nice.
too friendly.
too _____>..
Too....
The best way to describe it...
everyone was like perfectly cut out dolls.
I felt suffocated.
I was like the imperfect doll out of the million perfect dolls.
~~