Today is one of the days I like to call my "shit" days.
I feel like shit, smell like shit, and look like shit.
Okayyyy maybe that's a little exaggerated
but, nonetheless... I feel like.... yuck.
..
Usually, I can understand my emotions.
But today, They are tangled up in an confusing, permanent ... knot.
And no matter how hard I try... I can't untangle the knot.
~
Right now,..
I want to cry to ease the pain, but no tears are coming out.
I want to figure out what exactly is this "Pain" that's lingering on my mind, because this "pain" is stabbing my heart over and over again.
~
29.8.09
21.8.09
Long Summer Days
I will miss being able to stay up as late as 4:00 am and waking up at 12:00pm.
I will miss laying in bed all day and staring at the clouds.
I will miss the worry-free,care-free,peaceful,relaxing days.
Summer comes and goes so quickly that I almost forget.
~~
Towards the end of every August (when school is about to start), my brother would ask me " 1 out of 10, what would you rate this summer?" I usually would angrily snap back , " Durrrr, This summer was so boring, of course it deserves a "1"."
But, this year, I said something different.
"ummm, I think this summer is okay"
" we didn't go to Hawaii, California, or New york, like our friends did, but we had fun here"
"a ten out of ten!!"
~~
I guess, I'm starting to appreciate the little things in life, lmao.
I will miss laying in bed all day and staring at the clouds.
I will miss the worry-free,care-free,peaceful,relaxing days.
Summer comes and goes so quickly that I almost forget.
~~
Towards the end of every August (when school is about to start), my brother would ask me " 1 out of 10, what would you rate this summer?" I usually would angrily snap back , " Durrrr, This summer was so boring, of course it deserves a "1"."
But, this year, I said something different.
"ummm, I think this summer is okay"
" we didn't go to Hawaii, California, or New york, like our friends did, but we had fun here"
"a ten out of ten!!"
~~
I guess, I'm starting to appreciate the little things in life, lmao.
cheapstake mom/deodorant
She expects me to be perfect.
Well, newsflash, no one is perfect.
Especially, a kid, with the memory equivalent of an old man's.
~~
Today, Walmart was filled with kids and adults fighting for cheap school supplies.
I lazily grabbed the first binder I saw. Fortunately, it was in good condition.
My mom quickly paced around the store, and looked for other "supplies" I might need.
In the end, we self-checked out one thick white binder, and powder fresh deodorant.
My crappy brain forgot to tell me to take the other bag which held my deodorant.
So, we ended up driving all the way back to Walmart.
The drive back to walmart wasn't filled with peace, though. My mom decided to give me a big lecture on how stupid I am, how un-independent I am, how I depend on others too much, how I'm having princess syndrome even though we are poor, how my brother is so much better than me, and how I'm not going to be successful in the future. While, she was giving me this so-called important lecture, I was trying to drown her words out with the music that was playing in the car's radio. so.....We went back into the store, she made a scene, she embarrassed me, and we left with powder fresh deodorant .
~~~
aggg *sighs* so much trouble for deodorant.
I blame it on my brain.
~~~
On a lighter note, I'm going to High school in 3 days.
Well, newsflash, no one is perfect.
Especially, a kid, with the memory equivalent of an old man's.
~~
Today, Walmart was filled with kids and adults fighting for cheap school supplies.
I lazily grabbed the first binder I saw. Fortunately, it was in good condition.
My mom quickly paced around the store, and looked for other "supplies" I might need.
In the end, we self-checked out one thick white binder, and powder fresh deodorant.
My crappy brain forgot to tell me to take the other bag which held my deodorant.
So, we ended up driving all the way back to Walmart.
The drive back to walmart wasn't filled with peace, though. My mom decided to give me a big lecture on how stupid I am, how un-independent I am, how I depend on others too much, how I'm having princess syndrome even though we are poor, how my brother is so much better than me, and how I'm not going to be successful in the future. While, she was giving me this so-called important lecture, I was trying to drown her words out with the music that was playing in the car's radio. so.....We went back into the store, she made a scene, she embarrassed me, and we left with powder fresh deodorant .
~~~
aggg *sighs* so much trouble for deodorant.
I blame it on my brain.
~~~
On a lighter note, I'm going to High school in 3 days.
16.8.09
- Too Troubled by Raine yang-
I can really relate to this song.
English translation
The same make-up
The same hair
Everyone looks alike that it’s so boring
Instead of copying from magazines why not think of a style yourself?
Instead of copying a celebrity why not try something new?
Everyone has their own unique thing that is stronger than anyone else’s
If you’re not so pretty than put more effort into your makeup
When you can’t do anything about your weight, work hard to always give a smile
I'm troubled that being too passive is not good
I'm troubled that being too reckless isn’t good either
Troubled that my confidence is wavering
Troubles troubles that I push myself to a dead end
I'm troubled that being too smart is not good
Troubled that being stupid is even worse
Troubled that no one can understand me
Troubles, Troubles, the pain of having too many worries
Don’t let yesterday become a barrier
Use today as your wings
You can lose your love but you mustn’t give up your desire for happiness
Better bring an umbrella with you if you’re secretly in love in case of a light rain or heavy snow
Love is like high heel shoes, the prettier they the easier it is to fall
It’s hard to avoid getting hurt but the important thing is not to leave a scar behind
I won’t be afraid if there is no shadow of past
For my dreams I’ll keep on going
English translation
The same make-up
The same hair
Everyone looks alike that it’s so boring
Instead of copying from magazines why not think of a style yourself?
Instead of copying a celebrity why not try something new?
Everyone has their own unique thing that is stronger than anyone else’s
If you’re not so pretty than put more effort into your makeup
When you can’t do anything about your weight, work hard to always give a smile
I'm troubled that being too passive is not good
I'm troubled that being too reckless isn’t good either
Troubled that my confidence is wavering
Troubles troubles that I push myself to a dead end
I'm troubled that being too smart is not good
Troubled that being stupid is even worse
Troubled that no one can understand me
Troubles, Troubles, the pain of having too many worries
Don’t let yesterday become a barrier
Use today as your wings
You can lose your love but you mustn’t give up your desire for happiness
Better bring an umbrella with you if you’re secretly in love in case of a light rain or heavy snow
Love is like high heel shoes, the prettier they the easier it is to fall
It’s hard to avoid getting hurt but the important thing is not to leave a scar behind
I won’t be afraid if there is no shadow of past
For my dreams I’ll keep on going
11.8.09
Boring books.
Generally, I despise reading. The only "books" I can read are the fanfixs from soompi.
But, unfortunately, I am required to read a book about dead Greek people and mangoes for highschool. I tried to began reading the dead greek people book.. but it's like reading a dictionary.
A dictionary in a foreign language.
The mango book, on the other hand, is actually decent.
But, unfortunately, I am required to read a book about dead Greek people and mangoes for highschool. I tried to began reading the dead greek people book.. but it's like reading a dictionary.
A dictionary in a foreign language.
The mango book, on the other hand, is actually decent.
My favorite food.
I love Phở!!
It's really yummy, and surprisingly, I can finish a large bowl.
If you haven't tried it, You must!!
It's really yummy, and surprisingly, I can finish a large bowl.
If you haven't tried it, You must!!
Life is what you make out of it.
Yesterday, I was angry, unhappy, just really feeling ughhhh, so I decided to rant about it in the Having a bad day thread. Later, I went back to the thread and came across an interesting post, "some people need to realize that a negative outlook on life isn't gonna help anything....sure, just keep being mad at how sucky your life is, but you're only making it worse"
Even though, the post wasn't directed toward me; it made me realize that sulking about my life constantly wasn't/ isn't doing me any good.
Also, I realized that my post wasn't just about "having a bad day" but rather complaining about how bad my life is. (when it really isn't that terrible).
Then, I decided to look back, "was I always like this.?
So, I thought back to 7th grade...
7th grade was when I was on top of the world.
friends, school-wise, confidence.. ect..
But, then 8th grade came and I started to crash down.
I started to care too much about how I look, I became jealous of friends, I
was falling behind in school barely making A's.
I was slacking off in life.
~~~
"Life is what you make out of it." someone wise once told me.
And for the past year and a half, I haven't made the "best out of my life."
So starting from today, I'm going try to think more positive. (that includes my blog tooxD)
~~
IN 13 days, I'm going to be in High school. Honestly, I don't like the school I'm going to, But it could be worse. So, that's a positive thought.lmao
~~
If your curious, this is what I posted in the "Having a bad day" thread.. yesterday.
~~
8-10-09
My computer breaks down.
I spend hours fixing it.
His or her computer breaks down.
He or She begs mommy and daddy for a new one.
"*shining eyes* can I get a new computer pleasseee?"
"Sure thing Honey"
~
I arrive at school soaked from the rain. Because, my parents are too busy making the few pennies that won't help nothing.
He or she steps out of the silver benz without a drop of rain on his or her body.
~
I eat ramen all alone while watching dramas about broken love.
While, They eat home-cooked meals while chatting about their day.
with laughs,smiles, prayer.
~
I cry, scream, am lost.
Content, They know their place in life.
~
My friendships are untrue. filled with lies too deep that cannot be dug out of.
They have something genuine. heartwarming. something real. what I always needed.
~
I run away trying to find peace. But, mom and dad are more disappointed.
They point and laugh at the likes of me.
~
Why am I still here?
The little bit of life that I have.. is because I want my future to be bright.
.Peace .
Even though, the post wasn't directed toward me; it made me realize that sulking about my life constantly wasn't/ isn't doing me any good.
Also, I realized that my post wasn't just about "having a bad day" but rather complaining about how bad my life is. (when it really isn't that terrible).
Then, I decided to look back, "was I always like this.?
So, I thought back to 7th grade...
7th grade was when I was on top of the world.
friends, school-wise, confidence.. ect..
But, then 8th grade came and I started to crash down.
I started to care too much about how I look, I became jealous of friends, I
was falling behind in school barely making A's.
I was slacking off in life.
~~~
"Life is what you make out of it." someone wise once told me.
And for the past year and a half, I haven't made the "best out of my life."
So starting from today, I'm going try to think more positive. (that includes my blog tooxD)
~~
IN 13 days, I'm going to be in High school. Honestly, I don't like the school I'm going to, But it could be worse. So, that's a positive thought.lmao
~~
If your curious, this is what I posted in the "Having a bad day" thread.. yesterday.
~~
8-10-09
My computer breaks down.
I spend hours fixing it.
His or her computer breaks down.
He or She begs mommy and daddy for a new one.
"*shining eyes* can I get a new computer pleasseee?"
"Sure thing Honey"
~
I arrive at school soaked from the rain. Because, my parents are too busy making the few pennies that won't help nothing.
He or she steps out of the silver benz without a drop of rain on his or her body.
~
I eat ramen all alone while watching dramas about broken love.
While, They eat home-cooked meals while chatting about their day.
with laughs,smiles, prayer.
~
I cry, scream, am lost.
Content, They know their place in life.
~
My friendships are untrue. filled with lies too deep that cannot be dug out of.
They have something genuine. heartwarming. something real. what I always needed.
~
I run away trying to find peace. But, mom and dad are more disappointed.
They point and laugh at the likes of me.
~
Why am I still here?
The little bit of life that I have.. is because I want my future to be bright.
.Peace .
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