okay..
Today my goal is to not have high hopes.
Whenever I have high expectations for something to turn out well, and when it doesn't... I just crash and burn...
Something as simple as a shopping trip... turned wrong...can ruin my whole day.. b/c there's nothing much exciting in my life. And then I expect something to be so wonderful..... and half the time it isnt...
u might think I should have learned my lesson now...?
But I don't..
I continue to hope for the better..
I should follow my motto more often... "hope for the best, prepare for the worst"
I keep forgetting to prepare for the worst.
...... I'll update you guys on how well/or how badly it turns out....
29.6.09
28.6.09
Swimming
Edit 7/30/09:
Overall, my experience for my swimming lessons is a 9 out of 10.
The great part of swimming lessons is that I gained more than swimming.
I learned that......
1. First impressions do count.
During the first few lessons, I was unwilling to do anything that involved putting my head in the water, because I was scared of drowning. Unfortunately, the teacher didn't really take my fear of drowning seriously and thought I was not trying. When I conquered my fear of drowning and started to try, she treated me differently compared to the other students. Bascially, I was nothing more than a dead bug to her.
2. It's a "every man for her/himself world"
No one in my class was nice enough to help me.. not even my own blood-related brother );
I learned to depend on myself. I put in e-xtra time and went to my community pool to practice until my arms and legs went black and blue.
3. Jealousy is hard to overcome.
I was jealous of everyone in my class.
But I was extremely jealous of the highschooler because she just understood everything quickly.
I would hate being next to her in the swimming pool because she would tell me... " I don't get this"
"This is hard" And the very next moment, She would do it perfectly.. and get looks of admiration from her peers and praise from the teacher.
Now, I realize that I may not be the "star" of swimming but I have own talents ;D
~~~~~~~
6.29.09
I frigging hate swimming.
I can't even emphasize my hate for it.
First off, My teacher sucks.
I'm just going to tell you straight up...
She sucks at teaching.
... or maybe she just likes little kids better.
I don't think she's taking my fear of drowning very seriously.
I almost drowned for fucking sakes. I mean, do you expect me to swim as a dolphin...(and commit fully)
2 years ago...I almost drowned... I gasped for air for 45 seconds... was sinking and had no way uppp... I almost died.... (but thankfully... he pulled me up).
How the hell would I jump in to the lesson without any hesitation.. ):::
She moves on so quickly with each lesson... and it seems like she doesn't care...
if others are left behind.. (I'm not like my brother at all.. I don't dive in with each lesson.. )
I don't think she cares to teach kids who are fearful of water.. The words she told me were this.. "There's no possible way you can drown in this level of water... you can always stand up" It's so easy for her to say, when she never had a near-death experience. It still haunts me. I'm so fearful of it happening again. Next time, I might not be lucky enough, for someone to save me. I might just drown and be forgotten..
Last week, I cried at my lesson. I just cried...
I didn't cry during my lesson... But afterwards..
During, the lesson we were having a race... and I was the last one...
and then when everyone reached the wall... she began talking.
and completely forgot about me struggling to reach the end of the wall...
ya know, I hate it when people see me or suspect me of crying.
So at the end of the lesson,I told my mom that I wanted to practice more.
I practiced "blowing" bubbles underwater,and each time that I went underwater... I would just cry out of frustration.
And, I hate the stupid people there.
1. my stupid brother. -he won't help me for shit.... and he calls me cuss words... unsupportative brat.
2. the teacher- you wouldn't think shes mean at all.... But, she takes more time and effort, and more care for little kids... (but what the hell do you expect.... "if your little and cute, of course everyone would fall for you" I don't think she takes my questions seriously..
3. the little brats- aka brat#1 brat#2 brat #3...
Brat #1 is a pervy... little kid.. He will probably be a future molestor/rapist. (he's been watching way too many cartoons)
Brat #2 looks like he will turn into a little quiet/emo kid.
Brat #3 is already turning into a prep.
4. the highschooler- okay, she's not that bad.. But man, she won't help me either..
most of the time, she just says " do this do that" ........ gosh, when will the world, realize its "easier said than done'
And sometimes, when I ask for help she will shrug it off... and say "Idk"
... and plus... she helps her little bro...
Well I guess... I should have learned by now.. the world is a selfish place "every man for himself"
Then there's me... I don't get this swimming shit at all.
I don't wanna waste my mom's money..
stupid.. kids stupid teacher.. stupid unfair life....
aggg life isn't fair..
~ttyl
Overall, my experience for my swimming lessons is a 9 out of 10.
The great part of swimming lessons is that I gained more than swimming.
I learned that......
1. First impressions do count.
During the first few lessons, I was unwilling to do anything that involved putting my head in the water, because I was scared of drowning. Unfortunately, the teacher didn't really take my fear of drowning seriously and thought I was not trying. When I conquered my fear of drowning and started to try, she treated me differently compared to the other students. Bascially, I was nothing more than a dead bug to her.
2. It's a "every man for her/himself world"
No one in my class was nice enough to help me.. not even my own blood-related brother );
I learned to depend on myself. I put in e-xtra time and went to my community pool to practice until my arms and legs went black and blue.
3. Jealousy is hard to overcome.
I was jealous of everyone in my class.
But I was extremely jealous of the highschooler because she just understood everything quickly.
I would hate being next to her in the swimming pool because she would tell me... " I don't get this"
"This is hard" And the very next moment, She would do it perfectly.. and get looks of admiration from her peers and praise from the teacher.
Now, I realize that I may not be the "star" of swimming but I have own talents ;D
~~~~~~~
6.29.09
I frigging hate swimming.
I can't even emphasize my hate for it.
First off, My teacher sucks.
I'm just going to tell you straight up...
She sucks at teaching.
... or maybe she just likes little kids better.
I don't think she's taking my fear of drowning very seriously.
I almost drowned for fucking sakes. I mean, do you expect me to swim as a dolphin...(and commit fully)
2 years ago...I almost drowned... I gasped for air for 45 seconds... was sinking and had no way uppp... I almost died.... (but thankfully... he pulled me up).
How the hell would I jump in to the lesson without any hesitation.. ):::
She moves on so quickly with each lesson... and it seems like she doesn't care...
if others are left behind.. (I'm not like my brother at all.. I don't dive in with each lesson.. )
I don't think she cares to teach kids who are fearful of water.. The words she told me were this.. "There's no possible way you can drown in this level of water... you can always stand up" It's so easy for her to say, when she never had a near-death experience. It still haunts me. I'm so fearful of it happening again. Next time, I might not be lucky enough, for someone to save me. I might just drown and be forgotten..
Last week, I cried at my lesson. I just cried...
I didn't cry during my lesson... But afterwards..
During, the lesson we were having a race... and I was the last one...
and then when everyone reached the wall... she began talking.
and completely forgot about me struggling to reach the end of the wall...
ya know, I hate it when people see me or suspect me of crying.
So at the end of the lesson,I told my mom that I wanted to practice more.
I practiced "blowing" bubbles underwater,and each time that I went underwater... I would just cry out of frustration.
And, I hate the stupid people there.
1. my stupid brother. -he won't help me for shit.... and he calls me cuss words... unsupportative brat.
2. the teacher- you wouldn't think shes mean at all.... But, she takes more time and effort, and more care for little kids... (but what the hell do you expect.... "if your little and cute, of course everyone would fall for you" I don't think she takes my questions seriously..
3. the little brats- aka brat#1 brat#2 brat #3...
Brat #1 is a pervy... little kid.. He will probably be a future molestor/rapist. (he's been watching way too many cartoons)
Brat #2 looks like he will turn into a little quiet/emo kid.
Brat #3 is already turning into a prep.
4. the highschooler- okay, she's not that bad.. But man, she won't help me either..
most of the time, she just says " do this do that" ........ gosh, when will the world, realize its "easier said than done'
And sometimes, when I ask for help she will shrug it off... and say "Idk"
... and plus... she helps her little bro...
Well I guess... I should have learned by now.. the world is a selfish place "every man for himself"
Then there's me... I don't get this swimming shit at all.
I don't wanna waste my mom's money..
stupid.. kids stupid teacher.. stupid unfair life....
aggg life isn't fair..
~ttyl
Graphics
Okay, I use to be more obsessed w/ graphics/photoshop....But, then I lost all interest .. But, once in a while, I feel like creating/messing with images...
And this is something I created.. cause I was bored as hell
25.6.09
The Start.
edittt: 7.30.09
I edited this post because I felt my blog had no beginning. No start.
So here... I am telling you why I felt the need to start this blog.
Reason #1: The Original purpose of this blog was to communicate and re patch with one of my former "best friends."
But that FAILED. Cause I ended up not wanting to "Re patch" a broken friendship
Reason #2: I like writing about me. Especially, when something shitty happens, I just feel inspired.
(haha, That's why my blog seems negative. But trust me, I'm not that negative in real life. More of a realist.
My family's rusted,un-used,stupid,bbq grill. I liked it better... when we actually used it...
no explanation needed.. This is my dead pond/lake...
This is just a reflection of my lake. It used to be so alive. Now it is so dead..
About 2 years ago, all the koi and gold fish died.
My house is cursed that's why everything died, just kidding.
I love the sky. The sky is so beautiful and unique. It's never the same. Haha, I remind myself of Yorito in "Sola"
Yorito is fascinated with the sky,hahaha. I"m not that obsessed. But, I still think the sky is wonderful :D
Oh yeah, my stupid tree blocked all of the sky.. But I thought this shot was interesting.
You know what?? I can't believe my dog eats this... It looks better in the photo.. But, it tastes really bad. (I ate one just for the fun of it).
I'm really glad humans have more variety in their food xD
I edited this post because I felt my blog had no beginning. No start.
So here... I am telling you why I felt the need to start this blog.
Reason #1: The Original purpose of this blog was to communicate and re patch with one of my former "best friends."
But that FAILED. Cause I ended up not wanting to "Re patch" a broken friendship
Reason #2: I like writing about me. Especially, when something shitty happens, I just feel inspired.
(haha, That's why my blog seems negative. But trust me, I'm not that negative in real life. More of a realist.
Reason #3: I'm going to high school this year. People say High school are the best and worst years of your life. Some people make shitty decisions that screw up their life. Some of the people succeed and get to graduate wearing that nice blue robe.. ehhh xD
Haha, I wonder what will happen to me.
Reason #4: I need to improve my writing skills.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here take a peek of my life through photos..... (below)
Haha, I wonder what will happen to me.
Reason #4: I need to improve my writing skills.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here take a peek of my life through photos..... (below)
My family's rusted,un-used,stupid,bbq grill. I liked it better... when we actually used it...
no explanation needed.. This is my dead pond/lake...
This is just a reflection of my lake. It used to be so alive. Now it is so dead.. About 2 years ago, all the koi and gold fish died.
My house is cursed that's why everything died, just kidding.
I love the sky. The sky is so beautiful and unique. It's never the same. Haha, I remind myself of Yorito in "Sola"Yorito is fascinated with the sky,hahaha. I"m not that obsessed. But, I still think the sky is wonderful :D
Oh yeah, my stupid tree blocked all of the sky.. But I thought this shot was interesting.
You know what?? I can't believe my dog eats this... It looks better in the photo.. But, it tastes really bad. (I ate one just for the fun of it).I'm really glad humans have more variety in their food xD
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